Writing & More Role Reversal

I think a specific strength of Roth in this memoir is his ability to keep his father very human. In death and sickness, it’s a human tendency to glorify a person and his or her life. It is much easier to forget about the negative traits, I think because we feel like it’s unfair to the recently deceased, or maybe we feel uncomfortable admitting it to ourselves. Part of Roth’s honesty might have been due to the fact that he was writing parts of this while his father was still alive. Reading about his father’s insecurities, stubbornness and fear makes the inevitable ending more touching than if we read about an unrealistically perfect man.

As a child, Roth was never exposed to this side of his father, but in his sickness, Herman Roth is forced to rely on his son. This role reversal (as Nicole discussed a while back) seems to be a bit uncomfortable for them both. Roth is forced to stand up to his father’s stubbornness, deliver bad news in the most sensitive way, and make executive calls about procedures (with his father’s consent, of course). Herman has to accept that he must rely on his son now and can no longer function independently. I saw Herman’s revived interest in the Mets as a way to keep a sense of normalcy and return to Roth’s childhood. Most people when they reach a certain age begin to need help doing routine things, and this obviously becomes very frustrating. Roth walks a thin line between giving his father the support he needs and not restricting Herman’s sense of freedom and independence. He does so pretty successfully, and it seems that their relationship grew stronger during the last few years of Herman’s life.